Sunday, November 10, 2013

Crafting Humiliation



I admit it:  I waste valuable time scrolling through board after board on Pinterest looking at other people’s craftiness.  They can cook, dress themselves, decorate, and create works of art much better than I.   I don’t know why I suffer through the self-imposed humiliation.  What could I possibly be hoping to find?
Take cooking for instance:  How much time do these people have?  And who in the world eats that many brussel sprouts?   I work 40 plus hours a week, am out of the house an average of 12 hours per day which leaves me very little time to prepare; much less think about cooking some of these intense  meals.  They try to trick me by saying it only takes 30 minutes to prepare.  Ha!   That is for the skilled cook.  Obviously they don’t realize my mental limitations when it comes to cooking or food prep of even the smallest task.  I can’t always get the cardboard off a frozen pizza!  Don’t laugh.  It provides extra fiber.
I recently began looking at the Christmas crafts, hoping beyond hope I would find something my 10 year old daughter and I could do together.  I thought I had found just the thing:  Trees made from paper plates!  How hard could this be?   I purchased some paper plates thinking I would give it a try while my 10 year old was away.   This way I  would look like a skilled instructor.   It wouldn’t be like that failed attempt at jewelry making that we both sigh and shake our heads over.
I pulled up the Pinterest page, plate and tape ready.  I started trying to shape the plates into a cone just like the one in the picture.  Not happening.  I unrolled it, flattened it, rolled again.  I had a little more success.  I could see my attempt was never going to look like the picture posted.  “Liars”.  I swore a little. 
Making up an excuse, “she must be a retired art teacher or ex- Martha Stewart assistant.  I could tell that my little dream of a crafty Christmas afternoon with my daughter was fading away rapidly.  Good thing I didn’t say anything to her.
 I sat glaring at the failed Christmas tree attempts, trying to think of a solution.  The trees were pretty cool looking.  Decorating with them with different elements from outside would be fun for the two of us.  I decided I would go on line and see how much the cardboard trees cost at the local craft store.  Just as I was logging in to my laptop, the tape failed and the trees turned back into ….. plates.
I’m going now, to the  craft store.  I am not giving up.  I am not giving in to the giant crafting machine, just a few little cardboard beginnings we can call our own.    The paper plates will be put to good use.  We will eat our frozen pizza and Christmas cookies from them: Christmas cookies that we cut from a roll and drop on the pan.  Maybe we will add our own sprinkles.  That’s as far as I am taking it.
Peace.
NEPB