The slow pace of Christmas

It happens earlier every year: Christmas.  Before Halloween decorations come down from the retail shops, there were signs of Christmas decorations beginning to come out from their hiding places.  I cringed. It’s against my religion. I need a slower pace.

I’m a Lutheran.  We celebrate the season of Advent:  a quiet time of waiting and reflection of simple gifts.  You won’t hear Christmas music sung in my church until Christmas Eve.  It’s been said that we certainly know how to take the fun out of a holiday.  Guilty as charged.

I guiltily admit I use my religion as an excuse to hold off on decorating.  When friends ask me what I have done, I reply “Nothing”.  This is not to say that I don’t slowly began to decorate after the start of Advent (December 2^nd)  and I do began to slowly shop for my family. 

I try to take in the slowness of the season and enjoy the subtle joys that it has to offer.  My little town has a few offerings.  There is a giant tree on Main Street and  the entrance to campus. Saved from being cut down years ago, it is now the Official Christmas Tree which causes me to drive slower just to take in the sight of the towering lights. There is a parade as only a small town would offer; you know the type, the kids in pajamas, the high school band and the fire truck at the end with Santa yelling Merry Christmas.   

I tend to take “short cuts” through neighborhoods where someone else has gone overboard to decorate their home with lights. Driving slowly, I take it all in until a car behind me gets angry and sounds their horn, prompting me to drive on.  Obviously  someone needs to get on with their Holiday spirit!

As for Art and Music, the possibilities are endless.  It’s a University town; talent knows no bounds.  I go to a few, again in that slow pace; always.  I’m still waiting for a live theater production of Dickens: A Christmas Carol; Anyone?  Anyone?

The season shouldn’t be about hustle and bustle of the crowd, like the lyrics of the popular song. It should be about listening for the sounds of the bells ushering in the Joy.

I hope you are able to slow your pace, drown out the noise, enjoy the lights  and bask quietly in the Joy of the season.

Peace!

NEPB

Time out for the Moon

The Moon was beginning to rise as I was walking out of the store this evening. I had my medication in hand, and was not feeling well when I happened on a young woman who had dropped a bundle of papers.  She looked up at me bewildered, “It’s been like this all day.”

I went over to help her pick up her papers, not caring that we were in the middle of a busy parking lot, in danger of being run over in the dark.  I understood; my day had been the same. 

Thanksgiving and Black Friday were over.  The holidays had worked a number on me.  I was exhausted.  Saturday night I had struggled to keep my eyes open during the movie Lincoln.  Shamefully I admitted this to my SIO.  I had talked about going for months and he had carefully planned the evening around my other obligation just so he could take me to the movie. 

Yesterday a family member had a major health episode which threw us all into a tailspin, once again pulling on my reserve energy.  This morning at the office I found myself feeling extremely weak.  Giving up, I called my doctor and made an appointment. 

Sure enough I was sick: Contagious too.  He wanted me on antibiotics and out of commission for 2 days.  “Ha- you do stand - up comedy in your other job don’t you?”  He knows my life.  The only time I stop running is in the office and while there, it’s not a calm job by any means. He laughed as he wrote prescriptions.

The young woman and I silently picked up her papers, stood up together and as she started to speak I quickly interrupted “Look,” I said pointing, “It’s the Moon playing peek-a-boo. Isn’t it beautiful?”  I turned and walked away before she could say anything.  Dumbstruck, she stood there looking at the Moon now floating freely above the clouds, carefree and smiling at her.

Getting in my car, I too looked back up at the Moon, feeling a little better, it was the best thing I had seen and felt all day.  It was time well spent looking at that beautiful Moon, freeing me from the worries of the day and the stress of not feeling well.  I hope the young woman felt it too. It’s contagious you know.

Peace.

NEPB

It's All in the Stuffing

It’s the Wednesday before Thanksgiving: Time to gather around table and stuff yourself.   

Stuffing:  is there a more talked about subject surrounding the entire meal of Thanksgiving?  Every family has its traditions: Cornbread, Oyster, Giblet, Sausage and many other varieties.

My own family recipe began; well I can’t exactly remember when it began.  I just remember being a small girl, with my Dad tearing up toasted bread and chopping onion till my eyes watered.  We would make a huge mess and goof around making my Mother roll her eyes and tell us we were “too loud”.

 Daddy and I were always too loud while making stuffing, singing goofy songs, making messes, and general  disorderly conduct in the kitchen.  As I grew older, we began to discuss loudly how the onion and celery should be chopped.  I said small.  He said large.  Somewhere during my high school years, during a particularly silly stuffing making session, a new ingredient was added to the family recipe.  Vernors Ginger Ale.

 At that time in the 70’s Vernors was not available in our part of Virginia.  My parents had brought it back from their trip to see my grandparents in Detroit as they did every October.  My brothers and I regarded it as liquid gold. We fought over every bottle. To now be pouring into the stuffing was unheard of!  Tasting the stuffing, Daddy and I realized we had created something new and wondrous. 

The extra bite of strong ginger and sweetness added a new layer of favor to our old favorite.  Something we had never thought of before.  A new tradition was born.  We continued this for years,  hoarding the Vernors away every October until finally it was distributed  in Virginia.  When my oldest daughter began to help with the making of the stuffing she would first ask “ Did you get the Vernors?”  Priorities:  The world as we know it might end if there were no Vernors to add to the stuffing.

This year marks 3 years now that we have been without my dear Dad. My daughter and I will be in Mom’s kitchen making the traditional stuffing as if my Dad were right there with us.  His name will come up many times in our conversation.  “What did he put in next?”  and “ Remember when he wanted to add carrots and we protested?”  We will talk and laugh our way through the preparation, using Daddy’s time warn recipe for a successful stuffing . 

 The Vernors will provide the sweetness, the tears will provide the salt:  All of it the stuff of memories.

May your Thanksgiving stuffing be full of good memories.

Peace.

NEPB

Planned Failure

When I thought about writing this week’s blog, I wondered which topic to pick: there were several.  My 16 year old's knee surgery immediately came to mind..  There were all the details surrounding a surgical event: getting ready, time off from work, the logistics afterward having an immobile patient needing constant care and general effects on the family.

There were other topics: a writing project I promised someone that I did last minute, my killing of the vacuum (from lack of use I’m guessing?) or the fact that Halloween is almost here and my daughter’s costume is not sewn. My mother is supposed to be working on this project . ARG!  Also my SIO is deep into a technical project and has very little time to see me.  Pick a subject, I could write a book.  Don’t worry; I won’t.

 For now, I’m having a gigantic pity party of my own making.  I am consumed by fatigue and logistics of planning the events that await me in the weeks ahead.   I trying to be positive but the negative me keeps slapping me upside the head yelling “Fail Fail Fail!”    I feel trapped.

I thought I had planned ahead for everything, I had it all worked out.  Sifting through the debris of last week and looking forward for the next 8 weeks, I realized I had been trapped by a few minor details. I was one “leg short”. I was over booked.  There are the absolutes:  work and meetings, commitments I made months ago I can’t avoid.  There are other events, which I so wanted to attend and now seem impossible. Issues that I thought I could count on others to take care of are now left to me to deal with. It’s not their fault, mind you.  It’s really just a case of “leg entrapment”

I was talking to a friend who has 3 young children, the youngest under a year old.  We commiserated together about the feeling of being trapped. Like me, she usually can’t be dragged out for anything trivial. Lately the baby had been sick and wanting to be held constantly. If something trivial has come up she has jumped at the chance to get out of the house and escape.   We have  yearning to escape, whatever the reason, just let us out!

Saturday during a escape to the store, I found myself enjoying the solitude of the laundry detergent aisle.  I stood there quietly looking over each brand of detergent like a scientist doing research.  Several minutes passed, no other customers came down the aisle.   My mind began to wonder; did I really need laundry detergent today?  What did I have to tomorrow? And the next day?  I could see my schedule like a hologram projected against the detergent display shelves.  I was beginning to feel trapped again when a familiar face appeared in my sight.  A friend rescued me.  After a brief conversation she reminded me that I could only enjoy the solitude of the laundry detergent aisle until closing.  I reminded her that the store was open 24 hours.  “Well, I guess you can stay as long as you like.”   I returned to my solitary research on laundry detergent.

So what is the answer?  How do I overcome this feeling of entrapment and failure to foresee future details?  I don’t know.  Something isn’t going to get done; something isn’t going to get written; someone is going to be picked up late; someone is going to be missing an important “something” because I was too overwhelmed by the details in my head to remember where it was placed.  

 I will get out of my pity party head eventually and move forward.  And hey it will be Thanksgiving!  And Christmas!  Gobble Joy Gobble.

I hope the laundry detergent containers are decorated in silver and blue this year.  It is so festive.

Peace.

NEPB

A Leap of Faith in Cancer Research

Two weeks ago a study was release in the Journal Nature.  Using the DNA of over 800 women with Breast Cancer, researchers have determined 4 major types of the disease based on the genetic code of  the tumors. This will hopefully lead to a more targeted therapy for treatment based on differences in tumor genetics. Drugs can be better tailored to fight the disease. Some targeted therapies exist now for example: women with the HER-2 enriched  type receive  the drug Herceptin.

Now let me step back a moment; When you are first diagnosed with a later stage of the disease, doctors suggest treatment to you. “This is how we are going to treat you” You can say no.  No one is holding a gun to your head. On the flip side there is this other big bad monster holding a gun to you from the inside. Most choose treatment.  We choose the scary world of sickening side effects and sometimes, damage left behind by the treatments received (example:Herceptin).

This new study is a giant leap forward in determining better drugs. There is no magic drug at this time, drugs still need to be developed, multiple drugs.  In order to use the drugs on a large scale, patients will be asked to TRY them.  Clinical Trials.  In a clinical trial, the patient agrees to test an experimental drug: a drug that may or may not work.  Often the trial location is many miles from the patient’s home.  This involves a huge expense on the patient’s part, an expense that the patient must absorb. 

 It is a giant leap of faith: faith  in the researchers, the drug and the patient’s own ability to endure all aspects of the treatment. 

If the drug works, than this patient has not only succeeded in stabilizing their disease but the possibility for other patients with the same disease protocol is outstanding!   Researchers and Doctors can now develop new treatment protocol for patients with the same disease and hopefully have the same results.

Help patients take that Giant Leap of faith.  Donate to the cure.  Remember your donation to support Breast Cancer Research not only supports Breast Cancer but other types of cancer research.

http://americancancerfund.org/how-to-help

http://www.relayforlife.org/index

http://ww5.komen.org/

peace.

NEPB