Planned Failure

When I thought about writing this week’s blog, I wondered which topic to pick: there were several.  My 16 year old's knee surgery immediately came to mind..  There were all the details surrounding a surgical event: getting ready, time off from work, the logistics afterward having an immobile patient needing constant care and general effects on the family.

There were other topics: a writing project I promised someone that I did last minute, my killing of the vacuum (from lack of use I’m guessing?) or the fact that Halloween is almost here and my daughter’s costume is not sewn. My mother is supposed to be working on this project . ARG!  Also my SIO is deep into a technical project and has very little time to see me.  Pick a subject, I could write a book.  Don’t worry; I won’t.

 For now, I’m having a gigantic pity party of my own making.  I am consumed by fatigue and logistics of planning the events that await me in the weeks ahead.   I trying to be positive but the negative me keeps slapping me upside the head yelling “Fail Fail Fail!”    I feel trapped.

I thought I had planned ahead for everything, I had it all worked out.  Sifting through the debris of last week and looking forward for the next 8 weeks, I realized I had been trapped by a few minor details. I was one “leg short”. I was over booked.  There are the absolutes:  work and meetings, commitments I made months ago I can’t avoid.  There are other events, which I so wanted to attend and now seem impossible. Issues that I thought I could count on others to take care of are now left to me to deal with. It’s not their fault, mind you.  It’s really just a case of “leg entrapment”

I was talking to a friend who has 3 young children, the youngest under a year old.  We commiserated together about the feeling of being trapped. Like me, she usually can’t be dragged out for anything trivial. Lately the baby had been sick and wanting to be held constantly. If something trivial has come up she has jumped at the chance to get out of the house and escape.   We have  yearning to escape, whatever the reason, just let us out!

Saturday during a escape to the store, I found myself enjoying the solitude of the laundry detergent aisle.  I stood there quietly looking over each brand of detergent like a scientist doing research.  Several minutes passed, no other customers came down the aisle.   My mind began to wonder; did I really need laundry detergent today?  What did I have to tomorrow? And the next day?  I could see my schedule like a hologram projected against the detergent display shelves.  I was beginning to feel trapped again when a familiar face appeared in my sight.  A friend rescued me.  After a brief conversation she reminded me that I could only enjoy the solitude of the laundry detergent aisle until closing.  I reminded her that the store was open 24 hours.  “Well, I guess you can stay as long as you like.”   I returned to my solitary research on laundry detergent.

So what is the answer?  How do I overcome this feeling of entrapment and failure to foresee future details?  I don’t know.  Something isn’t going to get done; something isn’t going to get written; someone is going to be picked up late; someone is going to be missing an important “something” because I was too overwhelmed by the details in my head to remember where it was placed.  

 I will get out of my pity party head eventually and move forward.  And hey it will be Thanksgiving!  And Christmas!  Gobble Joy Gobble.

I hope the laundry detergent containers are decorated in silver and blue this year.  It is so festive.

Peace.

NEPB

A Leap of Faith in Cancer Research

Two weeks ago a study was release in the Journal Nature.  Using the DNA of over 800 women with Breast Cancer, researchers have determined 4 major types of the disease based on the genetic code of  the tumors. This will hopefully lead to a more targeted therapy for treatment based on differences in tumor genetics. Drugs can be better tailored to fight the disease. Some targeted therapies exist now for example: women with the HER-2 enriched  type receive  the drug Herceptin.

Now let me step back a moment; When you are first diagnosed with a later stage of the disease, doctors suggest treatment to you. “This is how we are going to treat you” You can say no.  No one is holding a gun to your head. On the flip side there is this other big bad monster holding a gun to you from the inside. Most choose treatment.  We choose the scary world of sickening side effects and sometimes, damage left behind by the treatments received (example:Herceptin).

This new study is a giant leap forward in determining better drugs. There is no magic drug at this time, drugs still need to be developed, multiple drugs.  In order to use the drugs on a large scale, patients will be asked to TRY them.  Clinical Trials.  In a clinical trial, the patient agrees to test an experimental drug: a drug that may or may not work.  Often the trial location is many miles from the patient’s home.  This involves a huge expense on the patient’s part, an expense that the patient must absorb. 

 It is a giant leap of faith: faith  in the researchers, the drug and the patient’s own ability to endure all aspects of the treatment. 

If the drug works, than this patient has not only succeeded in stabilizing their disease but the possibility for other patients with the same disease protocol is outstanding!   Researchers and Doctors can now develop new treatment protocol for patients with the same disease and hopefully have the same results.

Help patients take that Giant Leap of faith.  Donate to the cure.  Remember your donation to support Breast Cancer Research not only supports Breast Cancer but other types of cancer research.

http://americancancerfund.org/how-to-help

http://www.relayforlife.org/index

http://ww5.komen.org/

peace.

NEPB