Saturday, July 6, 2013

Looking Backward and Forward



I am moving.  I have lived in this townhouse for 7 years.  I have been packing, donating unwanted belongings and cleaning for months; these efforts have intensified the last 2 weeks.  Memories swam around me like  fire flies at sunset.
Every drawer emptied brings a new memory: pictures long lost are now found, theater tickets from a favorite performance, and a sweater thought lost, finally found.    This home has been my solace from many trials.  I returned to my bedroom retreat upstairs after life altering events.  I lay awake night after night after my diagnosis with stage 3 breast cancer.  I wondered how my children and I would exist.  It was a time of extreme uncertainty. I returned there after every treatment for 2 years: hunkering down in my bunker  with  a supply of meds, bottles of Gatorade (the mere site of Gatorade now makes me ill), a copious amount of pillows and endured with the help of my children. 

I took a bottle of champagne home and “cleaned house” to celebrate my divorce,  a process I started during treatment and finalized at the end of my 2 year run.   It was a giant victory ; Made more victorious that I had accomplished it during that ordeal  and had the fortitude to escape the abuse.  A single woman alone gathering the strength to do it alone with 3 children under 18, imagining the future of a positive life… What was I thinking?   I made it work better than anything previous.

My 3 youngest children and I have built a live here together over the past years.  We huddled together when here when my father died.  He used to drop by unexpectedly for visits to see what we were doing.  We knew he was really coming by to see our German Shepard Kate.  Daddy had a soft spot for German Shepherds.  I am sure if you look close you can find some of Kate’s hair somewhere. Kate left us not long after Daddy, 4 years ago. 

There were the 4th of July cookouts we used to have with our neighbors. It was always here because here because I had the biggest backyard and was closest to the pool. Do you think they were using me? Well yes, but who cares.  We had always had a good time.  I remember trying to explain to a group of international students about flag cake: the cake with the blueberries and strawberries?  They just didn’t get that we were eating a symbol of our cake.  Crazy Americans.

My 9 year old daughter was toddler in this home.  She colored on the walls, learned to swim in the pool and  learned to ride a bike behind the house.  Her memories are the strongest.  This is where her real life memory began. When she is a grown woman she will look back and this will be the first place she remembers.  I worked hard to keep the memories good.  I hope I succeeded.

We are moving to downtown.  A smaller space, I have one less child at home now and one more graduates next year.  When I considered this new home I looked at the possibilities:  downtown, walking distance to my office, a park/ playground in my back yard and several other perks.  I was doing my forward thinking.  It all fell into place.   It was time. 

There is always a time.  It is sometimes difficult to look ahead and see into the future, do the planning, packing and preserving you have to have a little faith.  You have to let some things go. Let the past be gone and step into a new beginning.  There are so many other things that come to mind when packing up your home and looking back.   If you take too much time looking back it slows down your forward progress.  Life is about forward progress, moving on to new things, improvement.  And this is where we are going, forward.
Peace.  NEPB

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